originally #2 was going to be about nudity, but in the middle of working on that, HS got me musing on the appropriateness of the phrase, “shut the eff up,” which we will affectionately from this point forward refer to as STEU.

so, during which moments in our lives–or in what conditions and situations of our internal and external existence–is it appropriate to spew a STEU?

ah~ you thought i was going to talk about the appropriateness of “shut the eff up” in itself, a poor euphemism which only barely, like a worn out veneer, masks the reality of the profane four letter word edging its way out versus saying something entirely more ladylike like, “kindly remain silent” or “be quiet” or “shut yo’ mouth, foo!”

nope. i’m of the opinion that STEU’s existence is necessary and that its appropriateness lies not in its actual components or meaning, but rather in WHEN STEU is used. STEU in itself is not bad. it’s how we use STEU that determines STEU’s goodness or badness.

let me illustrate:

Appropriate STEU #1

Voice-in-Your-Head: “you’re utterly worthless. you bring no value to the world whatsoever. you will live and die a nobody. no one will come to your funeral and the memory of you will atrophy into oblivion. no one will
remember you ever existed.”

You: “dude. shut the eff up.”

Appropriate STEU #2

Anybody: “you’re a big loser. you have accomplished nothing in your life so far. your dreams are stupid. you should just give up now. you’re wasting your time.”

You: “dude. shut the eff up.”

Appropriate STEU #3

You: “wah. pity me. come join my self-pity party. i am such a loser. man, nobody loves me. not even God. He doesn’t like me at all. waahh. i’m so pathetic.”

Friend: “dude. shut the eff up.”

now for a sampling of the inappropriate uses of STEU:

Inappropriate STEU #1

Friend: “my friend just died in a car accident…”
You: “Pssh, shut the eff up, you’re kiddin’, right?”
Friend: “no…actually i’m not…”
You: “what? shut the eff up, you’re serious?”
Friend: “yea…um…i’m kinda in shock, like this can’t be right, it can’t be happening–”
You: “mang, shut the eff up, you’re like gettin creepy sad right now and kinda startin to freak me out”
Friend: “dude! i will not shut the eff up, you shut the eff up my effin friend just died!!!”

Inappropriate STEU #2

Preacher: “so, we read in Genesis that in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth–”
Member of Congregation: “shut the eff up, no way!”

Inappropriate STEU #3

Wifey: “hey, could you take out the trash?”
Hubs: “yea babe, in a minute.”
Wifey: “but the mold that’s growing on the kimchi is so neukks* it’s starting to come onto me”
Hubs: “in a sec, the game’s on”
Wifey: “seriously honey, the mold is starting to really creep me out…it’s talkin about taking me out to dinner…”
Hubs: “yea, mmhmm…whatever you say”
Wifey: “sweetheart, now please”
Hubs: “man! shut the eff up, can’t you see i’m in the middle of something?”
…and then Wifey gets violated by the neukki mold growing on the kimchi. so sad…

*neukks is short for neukki hae which is Korean for “slimy” and carries the connotation of skeeziness, shadyness, lasciviousness*

ok so the inappropriate STEU’s are a lil ridiks, but the point is this:

sometimes, we need to get violent with what we let get inside us. the nits and grits that make up our substance can sometimes be the very words that are spoken to us–that our own insecurities say, that the television says, that culture says, that our families say, that our loved ones say, that the friggin devil says. i’m not demonizing people or trying to paint them in a treacherous untrustworthy light. not at all. the simple fact is, sometimes words just get messed up, whether we’re on the giving or receiving end of them.

the power of death and life is in the tongue, fsho.

which is why, sometimes, when there’s some Deathword comin atcha–or goodness, comin right outta you–and it’s like guns blazing trigger happy, it is totally completely 100% yes balls-to-the-wall acceptable, appropriate, encouraged, and necessary to spew a STEU, loudly and clearly. it is even okay to tell yourself to STEU in mid-sentence and look like a completely insane schizo person. i’ve totally done that to myself at necessary moments throughout my life. abruptly shoving my foot in my mouth saves me the pain of gracefully putting it in my mouth later.

seriously though, if a cannon ball is aimed straight for your head, you’re gonna get out of range, right?
if there’s a laser burning a hole into your forehead, you’re going to put up that shield, right?
if Magneto is pushing a quarter through your skull, you’re sure as heck gonna do all you can to incapacitate him.

so, if there’s a Deathword aimed for your or your loved one’s face, open up your mouth and shout that STEU, ESPECIALLY if the Deathword is coming from you. sock the sucker in the nuts if you have to (erm, i mean the Deathword, not people…). sometimes it might be necessary to pull out STEU’s more raw brother–STFU. oh yea, you know who STFU is.

i think sometimes we get too polite and ladylike in our living to the point that we just get insincere or really stupid. politeness and ladylikeness doesn’t really work when you’re exterminating scorpions and trying to behead poisonous vicious rattlesnakes and cobras. granted, i am all for knightly, polite, cordial and ordered warfare–when both sides are playing by the rules. but i’m not so sure renegades and rebels and fallen angels like to play by the rules. yep, even Ip Man had to get vicious. super bloody vicious.

Jesus wasn’t afraid to get forceful. remember His overturning the merchant stalls in the temple as He cleansed it? remember His words, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” that whole passage (Matt 10) is like a coach’s stern pep talk on strength, force, courage and true fear of the Lord.

so yea. stir up some meaty, hearty STEU, eat up, and let’s have some fun. we’re gonna need it for what’s coming. what’s already here.

Appropriate STEU #4: (What Esau should’ve said but didn’t so now he’s just damned)

Someone: “why don’t you sell me your birthright for this tasty bowl of hot, fresh stew?”
You: “man, shut the eff up, take your stinkin stew, i’ll frickin STEU you till Kingdom come, ya lil sneak!”