forgive me

I just remembered now,

on Cyber Monday

to give thanks–and not just for general things to an absentee Creator–

but to give thanks for a specific thing to an omnipresent ever-present One.

by the way, there always seems to be a lull, a dip, a low

right around this time–I’m never prepared for

the post-Turkey consumer frenzy.

This year was especially frenetic before.

We had planned a feast, to commemorate

Your decision to dwell with us, in these fragile tents

of skin, bones, fat, muscles and tendons

intricately placed and fitted together,

a wonder and workmanship of wisdom,

echad and order, just so, and broken,

and still you came in all our human fragile glory,

to live, grow, endure…and reign in humble servitude.

We had planned a feast, a thanksgiving for the

past faithfulness and a looking forward to the wonder

of the new. We didn’t know it would begin so.

With bombs and bodies separated so…

in the grief and rage that came

I forgot to give you a specific thanks.

the days passed and we’ve walked

again to another day of giving timid thanks

but my heart still entangled in the entanglements

of that prior celebration turned terror,

and I only now just realized, only now remembered–so,

thank you, thank you, thank you

for bringing me to 43, what a wondrous thing

to have lived this many years, with all

the directions and rollercoasters that came

thank you for a year of wonder ahead

thank you for letting me sit with you in sadness

and in celebration, in agony and in joy.

thank you for creating me just so.

November 26, 2023